Some Editing Tricks from the Editrix

Commas and the proper way to write a list of adjectives

Even though my life seems to begin and end with the boatyard right now, I am still—always—thinking about writing. I’ve read some very good stuff lately and a few book reviews will be forthcoming. I am currently re-reading “The Alienist” by Caleb Carr, because I am fascinated by the history of psychiatry and I like getting some of my doses of history in well-researched historical novels.

The book is excellent (the publisher was Random House). But, no matter how good the publisher/author/editor, I do run into errors. And, being that editing is my job, I can’t simply pass them by. So I mark them in the text and sometimes even make a snide comment. And no, I don’t proofread people’s emails or Substacks (unless they ask), I am talking about published books that are in print.

Not many people use the word editrix to refer to a woman who edits. I like it, because it makes me think of all the “tricks” I know about writing, rewriting, and editing—the edit tricks. I’m going to share a few tricks here, to soften the effect of my ranting. FYI, this is the sort of thing I am including in my current work-in-progress, about editing.

What is it about commas? Periods are seldom ignored, so why is such a useful punctuation tool as the comma the object of such disdain? Article that debate the necessity of commas are written and re-written, especially the pros and cons of the "Oxford" (or serial) comma. Writers and editors argue about the worth of commas—sometimes writers even argue with their editors…Imagine that.

Most writing programs and conferences ignore punctuation altogether, which I suppose makes sense—after all, you're supposed to have taken an English 101 course at some point before becoming an author, right?

An editor friend recently emailed me about a manuscript he's working on, writing that it was "well written, thank God, but like a lot of folks, the author doesn't really have a handle on commas. I am well aware of the 'open' style, which usually means 'no commas,' but sometimes they are necessary."

I agree wholeheartedly. The error I mark the most on manuscripts is either the elimination or addition of a comma. If I have to stop and re-read a sentence to figure out what you were trying to say, it usually needs a comma or two. You don't want your readers to be slowed down by having to decipher confusing sentences; the next thing you know, they’ll set your book down and be heading for a snack, or their phone.

I used to go on quite a bit about missing commas, especially the “serial” or Oxford” comma; it prevents any confusion and doesn’t cause any problems. But now I’m finding extra commas in every manuscript. Lots of extra commas. Especially when people are describing things with more than one adjective. Completely unnecessary commas like the ones in these fragments: “a long, thin cigar,” “dried, brown crust,” and “crumbly, old stone wall.” Apparently, people have heard about serial commas, which are used to separate all the items in a list, such as “apples, pears, and bananas,” and decided that any list of words has to be separated by commas. Well, it doesn’t.

I was reading an excellent novel today, published by an imprint of one of the Big Five Publishers, and found half a dozen places where the author had added a comma where it didn’t belong, and the copyeditor had apparently missed them all. I know a lot of people will say “who cares?” but I guarantee it won’t lessen anyone’s reading pleasure to have the extra commas deleted and it will make me crazy to keep seeing them proliferating where they don’t belong. 

There's an easy way to find the “missing" commas in your writing: read your manuscript aloud. Better yet, read it aloud into a recorder, then play the recording back and listen while looking at the manuscript (printed out or on your screen). If there's a very brief "stop" or teensy pause, or, sometimes, just a slight change in tone, look to see if it needs punctuation—those audible hints mean you might need a comma. 

Remember, a well-paced comma does not slow down readers, but a badly placed comma may, and it definitely will if the editor or agent is reading your manuscript, and considering it for publication, because they have no desire to take on sloppily punctuated work when there are so many good books that are perfectly polished.

Remember, if you can add an "and" between two adjectives, or reverse them, then you can use a comma instead of the "and" there. So you should not put a comma in “white, charming houses," because you would not say “white and charming” or use the phrase “charming and white" unless you were writing copy for a toothpaste ad (and see the note about word order below, because it should be charming white houses, too). There is no comma in “little old house” because you wouldn’t write “little and old” would you? Or “old little house?”

So when you are editing or rewriting and come across two or more adjectives with commas between them, try reading the two adjectives with an “and” added between them (or reverse them) to see if you can take out the comma you put between them.

By the way, there is a proper order to listing cumulative adjectives, whether or not they are properly punctuated. This is the commonest order I’ve found referenced: Number, Opinion, Size, Age, Shape, Color, Origin, Material, Purpose, then noun. (The acronym for the mnemonic is NOSASCOMP). If the words are listed in the proper order, there is no need for commas between them. So, the following sentence could be written: “I bought twelve delicate little old oval blue Mexican pottery soup bowls at a yard sale.” Yes, I just made that up. Not shopping for anything new this summer.

That’s it for this week. Book reviews and boat work updates are coming next week.

hasta pronto!

Comma Image by starline on Freepik